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© Copyright 2000-2008
RAVEN Custom Cues
Marion, IA 52302
The lighter side of pool and cue building.
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Over the years we have heard some pretty fantastic claims about different cues. So we decide to make some fantastic claims of our own. This is a good spot for pool jokes and comics. Life can't be serious all the time. |
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RAVEN cues are genetically enhanced!That's right. The word enhanced just means something has been added. Every time we handle the various pieces of the cue, cut a finger or sneeze from the dust in the air we add human DNA to the cues. Whenever Ally (our dog) comes wagging her tail into the workshop, canine DNA gets thrown into the mix. When the cues are brought in the house to be photographed you can add a little cat DNA here and there. If we could just figure out a way to have some of those genetic traits expressed these may be some of the smartest, most agile and loyal cues ever made. To the best of my knowledge we have never genetically altered a cue, but maybe? RAVEN cues are Gamma Irradiated prior to shipment!It is a fact. Of course pretty much everything, that isn't shielded is also Gamma Irradiated. Cosmic radiation comes from the sun and outer space and consists of positively charged particles, as well as gamma radiation. At sea level, the average cosmic radiation dose (for a person) is about 26 millirem* per year. * 1000 millirem = 1 rem - Rem means the special unit of any of the quantities expressed as dose equivalent. The dose equivalent in rem is equal to the absorbed dose in rad multiplied by the quality factor (1 rem = 0.01 sievert). RAVEN cues are CAT scanned for imperfections before they are shipped!You guessed it. As soon as the cue gets brought in to be photographed the cats just have to see what it is. They check it thoroughly. So far they don't seem to have had any complaints. 
CAT Scan!
The great comic Harpo Marx lays down a set of rules to live by in his autobiography, Harpo Speaks. One of them definately belongs here. "Anybody who mistreats a pet or breaks a pool cue is docked a month's pay." 
Who could possibly resist a quote from Mark Twain. "The game of billiards has destroyed my naturally sweet disposition. Once, when I was an underpaid reporter in Virginia City, whenever I wished to play billiards I went out to look for an easy mark. One day a stranger came to town and opened a billiard parlor. I looked him over casually. When he proposed a game, I answered, "All right." "Just knock the balls around a little so that I can get your gait," he said; and when I had done so, he remarked: "I will be perfectly fair with you. I'll play you left-handed." I felt hurt, for he was cross-eyed, freckled, and had red hair, and I determined to teach him a lesson. He won first shot, ran out, took my half-dollar, and all I got was the opportunity to chalk my cue. "If you can play like that with your left hand," I said, "I'd like to see you play with your right." "I can't," he said. "I'm left-handed." " - Mark Twain Speech, April 24, 1906 Things to avoid!(1) Don't put your cue through a wood chipper. You've probably considered it from time to time, but in all probability it isn't the cues fault and the metal screws damage the chipper blades. (2) Don't use your cue for pole vaulting. The joint probably isn't strong enough to support your weight. (3) Sword fighting with your cue isn't a good idea. If you are going to do something that dumb use one that belongs to someone else. Preferably not one that belongs to one of your friends. Consider jousting. The design of the cue is much better suited for jousting than sword fighting. All you will need is a horse and a suit of armor. To RAVEN Cues Home Page | |